We're gonna be Parents!

I still can't believe we are expecting a little one of our own. Its just been Brian and me for almost 8 years, hard to believe its been that long either. Time sure does fly by. A little over 6 years ago I underwent surgery to remove several cysts and to clear out severe endometriosis that had developed. So for 6 years I have worried about being able to have children of my own. I had read lots of stories of people like me that were able to get pregnant just fine while others I knew and even worked with have had to get help to get pregnant or are still trying. So having the unknown of how things would go for me was hard to deal with but we felt that when the time was right to start a family we would know. I didn't want to rush into it just because of my fears. So we waited and prayed and started to wonder if the time would come that we would "know" it was time. People always say how they knew it was time to start a family or that they knew they were suppose to marry someone but for me I have always just felt at peace with a decision and never had that bonk on the head experience others talk about. We knew we wanted to have kids but wanting kids and knowing its time to have them were different for us. I have always dreamed of being a mommy.

Well we finally felt the time was right in our hearts but our minds told us Brian was still in school and that I wanted to be a stay at home mom but needed to keep working, so waiting would be best. ( I tend to want perfection and to do things at the "right" time). It is easy to keep things the way they are when they are going well. I don't know if that is how others have felt but I think the first baby is the biggest change. It takes a couple and makes them a family. And once you decide to start that family there is no turning back. Well heavenly father must have known our hearts and how nervous we were about moving forward with this decision because shortly after thinking it was time we found out that we no longer needed to make the decision, it was final and a baby was already on its way. You can imagine our surprise by this. I found out at lunch and decided to wait till Brian got home to tell him. It was a long afternoon but finally he arrived home. I shared the news with him and to my surprise he just gave me a big hug and had the biggest smile on his face. I figured he might need some time to let the news settle, I know I did, I like change but it takes me some time to accept it and work it in to "my plans". So when Brian was so calm and accepting of the news I was a little surprised. (I guess I shouldn't have been, he is typically the calmer one of us. )

So here we are 15 weeks into this and still I am a little in disbelief. I think I would have forgotten that I was pregnant had I not been so sick and tired. Thank goodness for modern medicine, there is no way I could have kept working the last few months feeling like I was before we got the right medicine. The bump is visible to me and as much as I dreaded the awkward stage of just being fat looking and not pregnant I am trying to embrace it. I keep telling myself the longer I am in this stage the longer I can avoid being "huge" and "uncomfortable". But on the other hand I can't wait for that time either cause it will mean out little one is almost here.